Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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