she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
