Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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