i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
