thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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