His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It's just like the Real World with babies
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i dont even know how to be here
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
