ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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