Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
