I swear she didn't look like that last week.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
