My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is it because I queefed?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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