she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
