Dual....:-)
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
