i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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