Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
