Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
