You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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