apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
