Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Randomize
