that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
