I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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