All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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