sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
