Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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