Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Panties = found
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
