I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
