sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
