i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
