My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
