Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
