Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
