I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
