I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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