She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
