Your tits are I can't wait for
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
