Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
