my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
