This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
