So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
