i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
