SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
