He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
