you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
