I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
did i walk over a car last night?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
