Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
