I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
