we have pet lesbian snakes
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
