just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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