What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
