I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
try to milk me bitch
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