I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
