I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
