You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
