weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
