when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
