I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize