we're chasing vodka with high fives
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
