She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize