How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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