That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
