I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
