my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
