Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
