On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
