i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
