He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
