dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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