the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i was born a porn star she said
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
