Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
