before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
