Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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