sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
