You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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