i just google imaged poop.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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